This is a heart wrenching
story of an abused woman dying of cancer(who eventually died). She requested the letter be published to the public. Read below:
''I bid you
farewell…………………………………………..
I am grateful to God that I
will rest in His bosom and I am more grateful because I have always wanted this
opportunity to speak my mind even unto death. I guess you are surprised that
even the dead can air an opinion; in my case I really wanted to because I knew
that God was preparing a place for me and that is where I will be. Do not weep for so long because I found
eternal peace in Him. The very peace that has eroded me in about twelve years
of my God given years (at the time of this writing I am forty-one years of age
and I have been married for twelve years). This is my story………
I am Yetunde nee Olotu as I
am fondly called by my immediate family in Nigeria but here I am being referred
to as Omodolapo Jagha as named by the love of my life. Now, I
am Dolapo GoodGod , the surname I adopted when I realized that I no
longer have a husband who will be there for me. The very man I should expect to
be the Master of ceremony at my burial, the man you think would miss my
departure the most but unfortunately not. I believe my estranged husband is
glad that he is now free from the bondage called marriage.
Noble Jagha, I hope you feel
so happy now that your prophesy to Maryam Hassan and other girlfriends of yours
that I will soon die so you can marry them is now fulfilled. The truth is that
my body may be dead but my hope of glory in heaven is constant as God lives. I
may not be here again but I am so sure you will never find anyone to love you
the way I did…… You were my first love, the very man who deflowered me but
turned his back on me years after that I was not good on bed (not sexy enough for you), I was not good at
cooking but I managed to learn and cook your local meal of Starch and Banga. He
said, “I was so paranoid” because I complained that you are only comfortable
making phone calls in the car and returning home at midnight. You finally
abandoned me and the children in December, 2012 after all the mental and
physical abuse I suffered from you. You could not face the wrath of law as I
got a safety and protection order against you because I was afraid that you
would eventually take my life. While you lived with us, you were of no use, as
you were not readily available to do your matrimonial and fatherly duties.
How painful it was to take
the twins to school walking all the way from Ongar to Little Pace, sometimes
after getting a chemo. Even when I pleaded with you to look after the kids when
I have appointments at the hospital you refused. Thank God for the Irish
government (HSE) that provided me with home help (Margaret), my cousin, grandma Odelade, Sola and S. Bimbo (my wonderful sisters in
church), my friend, confidant (Gbemi) who stuck to me like a sister, she is known
in all our kids’ school as their guardian because you were not there. You found
solace in your numerous, “your attraction” as you referred to the choir leader
and probably your new sizzling romance Sheila Luxembor whom you kept my kids
with without my consent. I hope she told you I rang her and made peace with her
when I did no wrong (Yeah, I did this to secure my heaven).
Hhhhmmmm……….the Lord is my
strength.
Oti, how do you feel after
physically and mentally tormenting me? You can now be happy that “the living
corpse” (as you often referred to me) in your home has finally gone to be with
God. You no longer have to hit me or pounce on me anymore. In death I have
forgiving you because I loved you but I hope you are able to forgive
yourself…….?
I cannot forget in a minute
how I felt so let down that I took to my heels and sought refuge in that
sister’s place and later on at the women’s refuge. I am sure your defense is
that I died as a cancer patient but I believe I could live a day longer if you
were there for me…… I went through the
pains of Cancer lonely! Rather than supporting, you rejected me. Isn’t marriage
meant to be for better or for worse.….? I hope when I remember how childish you
were for taking the boot you bought for me and returning the wrist watch I
bought for you I can peacefully sigh a relief for leaving this cruel world. You
were so mean to me! Oti, you were really mean to Emmanuella too. How could you
ill-treat your own children because they are girls? I have all the horrible
text messages you sent to me documented; psychologically you killed me before
my death.
Pastor Jagha, a man of God!
The church has failed in their duty to help you from fallen, they have pampered
you for doing wrong in order to save their face and invariably they have failed
me. Church is meant for sinners irrespective of their position and as such no
one should be above chastising. I hope after my demise our father in the Lord
would have enough evidence to correct the wrong of my beloved husband. No
wonder my so-called husband was able to trick the church who also lured me to
take off the safety and protection order and stop me from getting a separation
that I so long for. On my dying bed I made copies of telephone bills showing
his immoral communication with a worker in the church at Athlone but there was still no sufficient
evidence………
The church that should be a
place of refuge became a place of torment for me. I hope you can also enjoy
your new relationship with Sheila, I learnt you told some of your church
members that I asked her to look after my kids because I was sick in the
hospital whereas she keeps malice with
me just because of your sex romp with her. Oti, you left my children at home
for two days and went to sleep with your girl friend in Athlone. You also asked
my under-aged children to travel on bus to Athlone by themselves while I was on
the hospital bed. I loved you but you failed me and you know it.
The bitter pill that I have
to swallow is the fact that I can no longer be there for my lovely girls .Their
beloved father despised them so because I could not make a male child (you
claimed that I was unable to have a boy child because I did not drink from the
anointing oil which you asked me to drink and that makes you detest me too). I
am deeply sorry that I did not drink it; maybe that would have spared me of
some lashes. Our lovely first daughter
at age twelve said, “Mummy I don’t think I will get married” This is as a
result of the abuse that my child suffered from our marriage… If you are a
loved one and you know my daughter, please help me say to her that marriage is
to be enjoyed and not endured….. I want her to be married and make me proud!
Oti, why do you always run
away from your problems rather than resolving them? You left Nigeria because of your involvement
in fraud at the bank which you never resolved.
As I speak you owe my mother a sum of one million, two hundred thousand
naira which you have no plan to repay.
How come you had issues even with your own sibling in the U.K to such an
extent that you poisoned her…..? That is
the more reason why I was so scared for my life. You are such a difficult person, the
community welfare officer , our GP, Olive at Hartstown , the Child protection
unit at Finglas and our father in the Lord tried their best to advise you to no
avail. You were not ready to make me happy.
Noble Jagha, you wanted me
dead as soon as possible. I still wonder
why you refused to come with me for separation times and again when I asked
that we should part ways. I know your intent may be to make gains from my years
of labour at Anpost. I worked so hard to pay the rent, to feed us and even paid
some of your fees to pursue your MBA. Despite all my effort you were never
satisfied, even on my sick bed you demanded for money…..I hope you are happy
that you have them all and you can feed your numerous girlfriends with
them. I plead with you and I besiege all
that reads this to appeal to you that you do the following after my demise
which is of utmost importance (I hope you will heed advice for once).
1. That you may put in trust/fixed deposit
for my daughters all monies raised from my burial and benefits from my
workplace having paid all expenses incurred and other personal loan taking from
my friends during my period of illness. My daughters need to know I care for
them even in my grave.
2. That, I have a will in which I have
named the executors to my will and joint custodians of our children. The lawyer
will keep you posted in due course, please adhere!
3. Oti you can also pay any money that you
owe from the monies before the account is opened.
4. Kindly pay my mother the money you owe
her too before the account is fixed.
5. I want my mother to be a part of my
children’s life, please don’t deprive her.
6. Oti
make peace with my family and friends (stop making enemies out of the
people that helps me).
Oti, it may surprise you but
I have to let you know that I have the password to your facebook account and
email accounts! How come I am not on
your friend list? Why did you also refuse to tell me the cause of your mother’s
death? I know she died of cancer! Hmmmm
Oti does not love me; he
could not stay with me in sickness despite the fact that I loved him more than
my children. Hhmmmm
I hope my mother can forgive
me for not heeding her advice in respect of my choice of marriage and I pray
that God gives her and my father the fortitude to bear this irreparable lost.
It is too late to cry when the head is off.
Thank you for not leaving me
alone in my time of troubles and needs my sisters, thank you sister for going to
Olive’s school, please follow up with Emmanuel as planned, I don’t want my
children to suffer. I am so worried …..I am tired. I don’t want you people to
go, don’t leave me alone. I want someone to sleep here with me tonight.
signed.
Omodolapo GoodGod
27/04/2013.
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