Pancholi isn't being accused
of actually physically assisting her death -- but Khan's mother says he abused
her daughter to the point where she became suicidal. The family has released
Khan's six-page suicide note, which describes the emotional torture an unnamed
individual put her through, ending with the lines, "All I want now is to
go to sleep and never wake up again. I am nothing. I had everything."
The reports of Khan's
suicide say she committed suicide by hanging herself from a ceiling fan at
around 11:45 p.m. in a bedroom of her Mumbai home on Monday, June 2. Five days
later, her sister discovered a six-page suicide note, which Khan's family then
shared with the public via scanned images.
Here is a transcript of
Jiah's handwritten letter below after the cut:
‘I
don’t know how to say this to you but I might as well now as I have nothing to
lose. I’ve already lost everything. If you’re reading this I might have already
left or about to leave. I am broken inside. You may not have known this but you
affected me deeply to a point where I lost myself in loving you. Yet you
tortured me everyday.
These
days I see no light I wake up not wanting to wake up. There was a time I saw my
life with you, a future with you. But you shattered my dreams. I feel dead
inside. I’ve never given so much of myself to someone or cared so much. You
returned my love with cheating and lies. It didn’t matter how many gifts I gave
you or how beautiful I looked for you. I was scared of getting pregnant but I
gave myself completely the pain you have caused me everyday has destroyed every
bit of me, destroyed my soul. I can’t eat or sleep or think or function. I am
running away from everything. The career is not even worth it anymore.
When I first met you I was driven, ambitious
and disciplined. Then I fell for you, a love I thought would bring out the best
in me. I don’t know why destiny brought us together. After all the pain, the
rape, the abuse, the torture I have seen previously I didn’t deserve this. I
didn’t see any love or commitment from you. I just became increasingly scared
that you would hurt me mentally or physically. Your life was about partying and
women. Mine was you and my work. If I stay here I will crave you and miss you.
So I am kissing my 10-year career and dreams goodbye. I never told you but I
received a message about you. About you cheating on me. I chose to ignore it,
decided to trust you. You embarrassed me. I never went out, I never went with
anyone else.
I am a loyal person. I never met anyone with
Karthik I just wanted you to feel how you make me feel constantly. No other
woman will give you as much as I did or love you as much as I did. I can write
that in my blood. Things were looking up for me here, but is it worth it when
you constantly feel the pain of heartbreak when the person you love wants to
abuse you or threatens to hit you or cheats on you telling other girls they are
beautiful or throws you out of their house when you have no where to go and you’ve
come to them out of love or when they lie to your face or they make you chase
after them in their car. Or disrespects their family. You never even met my
sister.
I
bought your sister presents. You tore my soul. I have no reason to breathe
anymore. All I wanted was love. I did everything for you. I was working for us.
But you were never my partner. My future is destroyed my happiness snatched
away from me. I always wished the best for you, was ready to invest what little
money I had in your betterment.
You never appreciated my love, Kicked me in
the face. I have no confidence or self esteem left, whatever talent whatever
ambition you took it all away. You destroyed my life. It hurt me so much that I
waited for you for ten days and you didn’t bother buying me something. The Goa
trip was my birthday present but even after you cheated I still spent on you. I
aborted our baby when it hurt me deeply. You destroyed my Christmas and my
birthday dinner when I came back. When I tried my hardest to make your birthday
special. You chose to be away from me on Valentines Day. You promised me once
we made it to one year we would get engaged. All you want in life is partying,
your women and your selfish motives.
All I wanted was you and my happiness you took
both away from me. I spent money on you selflessly you would throw in my face.
When I would cry for you. I have nothing left in this world to live for after
this. I wish you had loved me like I loved you. I dreamt of our future. I
dreamt of our success. I leave this place with nothing but broken dreams and
empty promises. All I want now is to go to sleep and never wake up again. I am
nothing. I had everything. I felt so alone even while with you. You made me
feel alone and vulnerable. I am so much more than this’.
Khan's boyfriend, Suraj
Pancholi, was taken into police custody on Tuesday. He was arrested for abetment
to commit suicide under Section 306 of the Indian Penal Code.
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